4 ways to bond with your infant
Bonding helps babies know they're loved and safe.
Want to give your child the best start in life? One of the most important things you can do is bond with your infant. Here are four pediatrician-recommended ways to do that:
- Hold your baby, especially when breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Feeling warm and safe in your arms gives babies a feeling of security and comfort. It also lets your baby know their physical needs are met with love.
- Talk, sing, hum and read to your baby often. The sound of your voice will let them know you're there for them. It also helps with brain and language development.
- Respond when your baby cries, makes sounds and smiles. This teaches your baby that you're there when they want or need care. It also helps them develop healthy emotional responses.
- Be attentive. You can never spoil a newborn with too much attention. But you can harm your baby by not responding to their needs.
Why bonding with your baby matters
After your baby is born, the first three months are critical. This is when babies learn that they're loved, their physical needs are being met and their world is a safe place.
Given this, one of the most significant things you can do as a parent is bond with your newborn. Bonding creates a secure attachment, meaning your baby is comforted by your presence. It also sets the stage for healthy physical, social and emotional development.
While mothers and fathers have the main role in infant bonding, remember that grandparents, other relatives and close friends can also bond with your infant. This can help your baby feel even more secure and loved.
Bonding with baby during pregnancy
Babies undergo huge brain development early in life. The brain starts to grow during pregnancy, and this continues through infancy and early childhood. Loving attention from parents during these years is especially important because it fosters healthy brain growth.
This means pregnancy is an ideal time for parents to start bonding with their infant. Activities can be as simple as talking to the baby, gently massaging the baby bump, and going to prenatal visits and classes together.
The results of not bonding with your baby
Infants who don't bond successfully have higher chances of developmental delays. They're also more likely to have health and behavioral problems later in life.
Not bonding with a baby affects parents negatively, too. It can lead to feelings of guilt, sadness and helplessness. It can also make parenting more difficult as the child grows older.
What to do if you have difficulty bonding
Remember that parenting is like anything else in life — it takes time and practice. Just do your best to create moments of connection with your baby, such as eye contact or rocking your baby in your arms. This helps build bonds between the two of you.
If you've tried but nothing seems to be working, it's time to get help. Here are some steps you can take:
- Talk to a health care professional or a family therapist. They can offer guidance on how to best connect with your baby. They can also find out if there are any issues causing the lack of bonding.
- Get support from other parents who've had similar experiences. Find out if there are local parent groups where you can share stories, successes and failures without judgment.
- Do your best to get enough sleep and eat healthy foods. Try to set aside time each day for yourself, whether it’s reading, going for a walk or just sitting quietly.
See our resources for new parents
There's a lot to know and do when you're having a baby, and we're here to help. We offer expectant parents a wide range of services, from guidance during pregnancy to choosing your baby's first doctor and caring for your child's health needs well into the future.
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